Questions I have yet to see in my ask box

1. What’s your real name?

2. Where do you live?

3. Do you have any romantic interests?

4. If I were to arrive on your doorstep and proposition you sometime within the next 24 hours, would you accept?

5. If I said that I’d write a blistering exposé about you and post it on the Internet should you answer “no” to the previous question, would that make you change your mind?

6. Do you make a habit of breaking strangers’ hearts?

7. Can you name the last ten people whose hopes and dreams you violently crushed in a similar manner to my own?

8. What do you mean, I’m a crazy person?

9. Look, man, I know your name and where you live, so are you sure you want to try and pull this crap with me?

10. Just thought I’d stop by your address. Has anyone ever told you that your house looks an awful lot like a police station?